I have always wanted to be a transparent person and share my experiences and thoughts because I believe in one form or another, we all are brothers and sisters and can learn from each-other which is why I started this blog some time ago. So being super honest and revealing about my life is important, I’m not ashamed to share my challenges I have faced, bad decisions I have made, or my fears. I believe it’s always someone that will receive my message.
Today I wanted to talk about ‘The Meantime” what does one do in the meantime when they are facing challenges in life or trying to get past pain, hurt, disappointment or simply dealing with self-criticism. Often when we turn to self-help books, we always see the beginning challenges of the author and the end which is their successful point. They rarely discuss their meantime and if they do, they are not transparent so you as the reader are often still confused once you have read their book. When I say the meantime, I mean how do we get through the moments when it’s hard for us to get out of the bed in the morning because we are hopeless, stressed, hurting, or unmotivated. How do we keep going when we are tired and mentally exhausted? How do we keep an attitude of gratitude when our world seems to be coming apart? It’s simple friends, allow yourself to feel it, go trough it, and deal with it. You can not bury what’s going wrong, you can’t drink or smoke it away, it will still be there when you sober up, you also can not mask it. You have to allow yourself to go through whatever it is and get past it.
True story, I recently experienced a loss that really broke my heart, I literally felt physical pain from this hurt. I was in a relationship and not a typical boyfriend and girlfriend type thing but a real relationship where I and he invested quite a bit of time, energy, and love, among other things. We had real intimacy, and not on just a sexual level. We shared our goals, failures, wants, and fears. We were totally honest and vulnerable with each other and funny enough with all of those qualities we still struggled with communication which was highly important to me and not a big factor to him, this ultimately ended our relationship. I later found once we parted that all along, he was harboring all types of thoughts and feelings that I never knew existed. And while I knew that it was not my choice to end our relationship, and that I had given 110% of myself and heart to this person, I still questioned myself, what I did wrong, or if I could have changed this or that. When our break-up first occurred, it was more of a shock and I was trying to get answers, later the anger set in, but when that hurt hit, OMG guys, I thought my life was over because I had a wall up so tall when we met but later decided to allow him in and decided not to self-sabotage my relationships and be happy, I mean we were talking about marriage and I felt as though I was finally secured in a relationship and it was my last after I am 41, who wants to still be dating. I can remember not being able to sleep, waking up crying in the middle of the night, texting, calling, and emailing him to just talk to me. I immediately ceased everything in my life outside of going to work, but even then, I would have to leave my desk and go to the bathroom to let it out and cry.
Honestly friends, today I am still working through it but I wanted to share my story because I noticed that allowing myself to feel the pain, cry it out, journal, and whatever else I needed at the time helped me to work through it. I still have my days like today where I shed a tear, but again I allowed myself to feel it and talked about it with a friend who allowed me to vent. I am still working through it and in my meantime and writing this blog is also a help, I say all of this to say, work on Your Meantime, do the work you need to do to be happy, at peace, and the best version of you. Don’t run, hide, bury, or mask your challenges. Deal with them, it will equip you to move past things much easier and faster or face the challenges or fear you need to face head on. The things that I have listed below helps me quite a bit and gives me the strength not only for my situation but in all areas of my life.
Practice an Attitude of Gratitude, write down the things you are grateful for versus what you don’t have or feel you are missing.
Remember your goals and your purpose, don’t lose sight of them
Pray your way through your hurt or fears and ask for guidance
And if you need to take a break, do it but jump back on the saddle and stay focused
See a therapist if need be
Help someone help, and make your heart smile
Have and Awesome Week,