Mentally Tired? And you wonder why…

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Have you ever found yourself just doing to much? whether it’s moving from one relationship to another, from one job to another or simply always being on the go.  Then you awake one day just feeling tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. I can honestly say that  I am the poster child of most that I listed above. And it took for me to get well into my 30’s to understand that its okay to just be still. I had to get that it was ok not to get to know every person that I met. I did not have to give my energy to every situation that occurred in my life or in the people around me lives. I had to learn that once I was complete within myself and  had a relationship with God where I’d be able to allow him to lead my life, no matter where I ended up in my life  physically or financially I’ll still be content and grateful, but able to always shine and grow within my own light. I did not need the reassurance of man. I only needed it from God.

I feel as people we are people-pleasers. We feel we always have to please, agree, and have the approval of the next man in the schools we choose, the homes we buy, cars we drive, the clothes we wear, and the list goes on. We feel we have to be at every party or get together, we have to be in the click even when we don’t feel connected. Well I’m here to say, we don’t. Its okay to say no. Its okay to walk our own way and to do exactly what we like. We don’t have to belong. We don’t have to be accepted. Those needing to be accepted are weak and confused people that are empty. They need to belong to make sense of their being. Not realizing that the person, job, or click that they are  longing to be apart of more than likely don’t share the same want.  So they send themselves into a world of hurt, depression, and anger. Because they expected the love, acceptance, and reassurance of man in return.

When we find ourselves in any situation or relationship that start to take us off of our mark or weigh us down, sometimes we have to be able to take a step back. Separate ourselves from the person or situation. Look at it with an open mind. See what is wrong with the picture, even what we are doing wrong. Assess whether it needs to be removed from our lives or see if its  something that can be done to change the dynamic of the situation or relationship on our end because remember we can only control our own feelings, reactions, and thoughts, not another person or situation. But the most important step is to be still and listen to God and our hearts. The two will never steer us wrong, no matter the path.

When I learned to be still and sit in my situations instead or running, turning a blind eye, or pleasing another and paid attention to what God planned for my life. I was able to live in peace. I no longer felt mentally exhausted, or like throwing in the towel. I got out of the rat race and created my own path where I did not have to compete, be accepted, or reassured of who I am. We should never lose the understanding that we are all here for a purpose. Our journey in life should be to learn what purpose we are here for, get on our jobs, and live as best as we can. The world will never change, it will only get more complicated. So love God, Love Yourself, your family and friends. Laugh if you want, Love with no expectations, travel if you can. Just live. No person or situation is worthy of interrupting your happiness. Please don’t allow it..

Signing Off,

Empress…

Is Social Media & Technology the cause of “Lost Connections’ among People?

Lately I have noticed the patterns of our relationships, be it; relatives, girlfriends or boyfriends, or just friends in general.  We as people no longer connect, relate, or befriend each other as we should or as we did at one point in time. It almost seems as if most of our relationships are forced, tolerated, or false. Like nothing about the relationship is genuine  or stable. We look to social media for entertainment, friendships, and advice, no longer seeking connections to mom, dad, siblings, or friends. Why is that?  What have we come to guys?

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If we were to take a look at our own surroundings; daily we see strangers, friends, or loved ones living with depression, being promiscuous, feeling insecure and uncomfortable with themselves, and most of all trying to live up to social standards. And losing the connection with themselves and with the ones they need in their lives the most. Sometimes it seems as if its social media that gives off this facade by giving people a false idea of life and how it should be lived, for instance the “No New Friends” term. Oh Gosh we had saying going for a while. The saying/song basically said that  there was no need to add new people in your life and to stick with whom you already know. I really hated that term. We all need friends, nor do we need to shut people out that may be in need of us. We get so carried away with the ideas of others in social media and never have stopped to realize that most don’t live what they post, tweet, pin, or blog for that matter. Although we may agree with a quote or saying, we just can’t get life lessons from it.

Another reason for lost connections among us is Technology. Although its meant to keep us fully connected, it moves us further apart. For instance one can take 5 minutes to text, when it would have only taken 2 minutes to call and say or ask what they needed. Or one can meet a guy or a gal and they will text you before they have even had a conversation with you. My kids will even be in the same house with me, our rooms are not far apart, and they will still text ” mom what are you cooking tonight?” instead of talking to me. I can’t with that. Even at work, my dept is small we are all very close to each-other, yet we call each-others extension or email instead of taking three to four steps to communicate. I don’t think we realize how these things are pulling us further apart, making it even harder for us to communicate and relate to one another. I can’t remember the last time I seen kids out riding bikes, or playing hide & seek or hop-scotch. No now its video games, tablets, Instagram, Kik, Glide and a host of other things we use for entertainment, that goes for us adults as well.

We wonder why our souls are not being fed or why we are still feeling empty and lonely, and always looking for more. It’s because no computer, game, ,social site, car, piece of clothing, or even money, can be fed to our hearts, minds, or souls. It’s only the connection to God, Yourself, and Loved ones that will constantly satisfy your heart and emotions. Having a great engaging conversation will always brighten or overload your spirits with joy. Giving someone a compliment can help them feel better about themselves. Telling someone you love them and you are there for them will make a world of difference when they are in a dark place in their life.  These are the kinds of connections we need in this world. We all need to put the phones and tablets down, sign off social media sometimes to meditate, pray, talk to a friend or loved one or simply be in peace and quiet. We need that time to focus, regroup, or put out lives or situations into perspectives so that we can re-connect to real life, real relationships, and real love. Love and great Relationships is the key to a fulfilling life.

Signing Off,

Empress

Are You An Emotional Eater?

Are You An Emotional Eater?

Asalamu Alaykum ,

In my English class this past semester, it seems that all of our class discussions and writings were based on Obesity; whether it was how the Government should intervene to help get a handle on obesity, what responsibility the food industry has on the growing epidemic, or putting a label on obesity in general. In all of these discussions the only thing that continued to run in my mind was “People Please…It’s Not about the Food”.
No matter the eating disorder whether it is obesity or bulimia, it’s simply not about the food. There is always an underlying hurt, handicap, or pain there to cause these issues. I don’t feel one wants to be fat and get taunted daily or get very skinny to fit in with the in crowd. It’s an Emotional Eating disorder and its something happening or something that has happened to these victims that trigger this type of behavior. Lots of men and women suffer from emotional eating disorders; I was one whom went through this situation and still struggle with it at times. I would use eating as a way to deal with and control emotions or negative feelings. No matter if I was celebrating or if I was feeling sad. I used food as a healer, to distress, or to simply forget what I wanted to stop thinking about. I saw it as an embarrassment to talk to someone about it, so most just looked at me as being greedy, when that surely was not the case. Out of desperation to save myself, I really had to look inside myself as see why I was using food as my companion. After looking back on my old journals I realized it was because I never loved me they way I should have. I always loved and nurtured others and eventually I was burned out and down on me because I did not love and nurture my own self and I expected that the love and consideration I gave out would be returned, in which of course it was not. I taught people how to treat me because I accepted whatever they hashed out and kept forgiving and loving. I say all that to say it turned me from this generous, friendly, and outgoing person to a bitter, cautious, women with a do not enter sign on my heart and a Emotional Eater. Food was my friend. Food did not lie, use, or disappoint me. But I soon had to realize food was also not my friend; because the same food that made me feel all better inside, could also kill me one day.
I thank God that this was a disorder I was able to overcome and start to enjoy life again. I recognized I was going through a deep depression that needed immediate attention. But I did the work, got all better, and I’m good now. I still like food and will go in at times, but I snap back and get it under control, good thing is I know it’s no longer emotional eating it’s me pigging out with my teenager on our movie nights..lol.
If you are one suffering from this disorder, I urge you to seek the help that you see fit. I have included a link below for those needing help with this situation.

Signing Off,
Empress

http://www.medicinenet.com/emotional_eating/article.htm

emotional eater blog