Often times we may meet a woman or men that we have great chemistry with and as a result of that connection, we tend to give away everything too fast. By everything I mean, Sex on the first date, He or She knowing our life stories within the first couple of hours of talking to us, and if we have kids, introducing these people to our kids not knowing who this person will be to us. Not knowing if this person is in our lives for a Reason, Season, or Lifetime. We honestly don’t think like that, we start thinking with our expectations or lustful thoughts; then we are confused as to what happened when our relationship ends so fast or even why we have become that man or woman’s bed lay.
It’s because we are “Giving Too Much Too Fast” slow down…Yes all of us want to be loved or in love and that is a wonderful thing but in this day and time people don’t love they way that they used too. Folks intentions aren’t always genuine towards us and although we always want to see the good in whom we are interested in, we have to try to hold some of those emotions back to see what the person is really there for.
- Do that old-fashioned dating thing. Hang out (And not at each other’s homes)
- Keep your conversations light and fun, laugh. Change the subject if things start to get to deep. (Your personal business is none of theirs yet)
- Ask questions about that person, don’t let them bombard you with questions only about you. (Some look for vulnerabilities when asking you lots of questions)
Do wait before letting yourself go. It is essential in getting to know someone. Besides when you do too much too fast your relationship develops fast, which means it will get old and boring quickly. Believe me, I know, I have done it more than once. And really when you take your time to get to know someone,you save yourself from having regrets. You reserve your body and your heart for that special someone. Take your time. Us men and women are not leaving this planet anytime soon….
Ladies it’s no secret that relationships and courting really sucks these days. Lots of men don’t feel that they have to put forward any effort in getting to know us anymore. Most of our relationships are built upon lust and benefits. We allow ourselves to continue to be used for what we feel are our prized possessions, which are our bodies or assets. All to fulfill the needs of another and wonder why in the end we still feel empty, lonely, and confused. Not realizing or wanting to deal with the fact that we need more than what today’s dating and relationship trends have to offer.
It’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling a man when you meet them that you want more. Yes, all relationships should go through a friendship/building process, but let it be just that. That process is when we should be showing him or beauty and all of the things that we have to offer, and not our booties. And if he can’t wait, he isn’t a good candidate for us. Because once we allow him to or we set that precedent we are stuck and things will not change. I know. I have made that mistake more than once and as a single woman today, I have to continue to be mindful of that and not put aside my needs and wants to make a man happy, because I know in the end, I’m only going to be left with my mouth wide open and wondering why my expectations were not met.
I say all that to say. “Get to know him before you allow them to know your body, benefits, or assets”. We all know that we have something else to offer besides our bodies and assets. But the only way he will be able to see that is by you not giving him your prized possessions too soon. I mean who wants useless lust and sex? Let him know that he has to work to earn what you have to give and share. Show him that you love yourself more so that he will have no choice but to find out what’s in the box before be take the goodies. I mean really ladies, if we set higher standards for ourselves and not accept what some man wants to give, we would really see a change in our dating lives and relationships because a man will only love, respect, and treat us as good as we love, respect, and treat ourselves. And we all know that self-love is the root of love itself. We can’t love or be loved if we don’t have self-love established first. I want to leave you with this quote for if a man doesn’t have a genuine interest in you;
” You don’t get to have Me, Not my Body, and sure as hell Not my Heart, were done” ~ Brooke Davis
So ladies, have you ever experienced a situation where you met a nice and handsome guy and you felt yourself really feeling him after a couple of dates and conversations. You both seem to share a lot of things in common and is also on the same page as far as what you both want from a relationship. In the beginning he flatters you with beautiful compliments, gassing your head up on how much he cares for you and how he could actually see you being his wife one day. Then later after more dates and time shared ,you begin to notice his that actions are not lining up with his words. His calls lessen, your dates become non-existent, and his consistency is no more. However when you both speak, he claims it isn’t what you think and have you feeling as if you are making something out of nothing, claiming he is just really busy…I’m sorry but did I miss something? I believe if you truly want someone, no matter how busy you are, you will find a way to always let that person know where they stand in your life and you will surely show your interest in them one way or the other..
But I have a question; What is up with men and their inconsistency these days? Why does making a commitment seem like the ending of their life? Every woman will not crowd your space guys, some of us have lives as well. And we can actually be your friend outside of your boys. We women just want the love, respect, and commitment given to be returned willingly.
Note to Guys: If you meet a woman and you like her like that, but you know you are not ready for commitments or if you know you already have a commitment, just be honest, let her decide if that is something she wants to deal with, don’t try and trick her into being with you for you to get what you want; then when she starts to expect more from you, you start looking at her sideways as if she is the problem.
Note to Ladies: No matter how good the conversation or time spent is, step back and see are his actions matching his words. ‘probably not if you have to’…. see if his intentions are real; yes we all want awesome sex, sweet words, and a handsome man, with a great smile, but why waist your time and body on something that wont last long. I think we need to make these guys more accountable ladies, don’t make it easy for them, Make sure their actions match their Words before you give yourself…
Signing Off Empress!!!!!